Alex Johnson shares her experience being polysexual

Growing up knowing something was different became a normal part of the day. Knowing everyone felt differently about who they were made Alex Johnson different.

Johnson doesn’t identify with a certain gender and prefers to go by the pronouns they and them. They also sexually identify as polysexual, that’s where they are attracted to some, but not all genders.  

“[Being polysexual] can complicate relationships, [but] it has helped me be more accepting to others and myself,” Johnson said.

Throughout middle school, they realized that being stereotyped as feminine and that their sexuality was constantly fluctuating.

“It can complicate things, my stepmom is a transphobic, making it unable to fully come out,” Johnson said.

The realizations began in middle school for the genderfluid Alex Johnson. The realization that they didn’t feel quite right identifying as female and the realization that they were not straight.

“I remember [realizing] back in middle school. I was like, ‘there is no way I am straight,’ and I actually didn’t figure out the whole gender thing until this year,” Johnson said.

One day, while sitting in Mr. Robert Dorchak’s class they realized they were incredibly uncomfortable with how they were dressed. That day they had been wearing a skirt and heels  and immediately felt the need to go home and change in baggier clothing to hide their naturally female physique. Ever since then, they’ve remained genderfluid.

“I’m genderfluid. Specifically I’m fluid between very rarely female, commonly male and other than that, if I’m not male, I’m likely agender. Agender means I don’t identify with a gender. I’m just kind of here,” Johnson said.

With the fluctuating gender comes fluctuating pronouns. On days when they’re feeling masculine, they prefer “he” and on most other days “they” is also perfectly acceptable. However, “she” isn’t as welcomed.

“I’m not too fond of ‘she’ anymore because I associate it with being misgendered,” Johnson said.

Like their gender, their sexuality tends to fluctuate as well.

“In terms of sexuality, I’m not entirely certain on that. I’m trying to figure that out. It’s gone back and forth and has never stayed in place,” Johnson said.

They tend to go between different sexual orientations such as polysexual (the attraction to multiple genders) and romantic orientations such as demiromantic (the lack of romantic attraction until an emotional connection is formed). Polysexuality, however, differs from bisexuality because bisexuality refers to attraction to only two genders while polysexuality is attraction to a broader range of genders.

Despite the constant change, Johnson does mainly feel they are pansexual (attraction to others regardless of their gender) because to them, gender makes no difference.

Becoming more aware of the different types of sexualities and genders has made them more accepting, however.

“It’s just kind of made me more open and more realizing that there’s more than just male and female and straight and gay,” Johnson said.

Although Johnson has become more accepting, they can’t really say the same for others.

“I can’t come out to my parents. My step-mom is transphobic, and my dad goes along with whatever she says generally, so I’m presuming that applies to this too. If they don’t think trans people are valid, they’re not going to even think genderfluid is a thing. They’re not even going to understand it and they’re not going to want to,” Johnson said.

They go on to tell of how their grandmother and mother still refer to them as “Lexie” instead of “Alex” and would make too much of a fuss if they were to come out, so they haven’t bothered to come out to them. For the time being, Johnson has only come out to their friends due to the inability to come out to family.

In the dating world, Johnson has come across difficulties with finding someone who is accepting of their frequent switching between genders and sexuality.

Johnson said, “I feel like it is more difficult [dating as a member of the LGBTQ+ category] because there’s always those people that don’t understand and don’t care to understand [what we’re going through].”

 

by LINDSAY LUCAS